Mirth contributor Livia Scott recently debuted her first music video, “I Like You Better on Facebook.” Within days of going public, it wound up on the front page of Funny or Die - among many other sites – and now has over 100,000 views on YouTube. We asked Livia to share what she’d learned about having a video go viral.

1. Someone without a dick will comment that you “aren’t hot enough” for (him) to have sex with,” and that therefore your video sucks. Although this news will be devastating and you should give yourself time to heal by curling up with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and The Real Housewives or The Bachelor (or some other guilty pleasure where all the women on it hate each other, right ladies?!?!), you can take comfort in the knowledge that as a woman in the entertainment industry, this means you’ve made it. Congrats!

2. You’ll be invited to be a talking head on VH1 and weigh in on “Teen Mom.”

3. If your video is satirical, you will get lots of comments from people who don’t understand satire or irony, like, “I don’t get it!” and “TOO MUCH AUTOTUNE!”

4. You will obsessively check Twitter and be disappointed that you don’t have 25,000 new followers.

5. You’ll eventually take it all in stride, enjoy the moment, be grateful for your day job and get back to work.

###

Yesterday was my birthday. I had planned on spending an intimate evening at home with my assistant, Ricardo, and my favorite DVD treat, Ben Hur, while my Chinaman, Ming, kept my glass refilled with sloe gin fizz.

My plans, however, were ABORTED, when the television froze on the E! network. The channel wouldn’t change, and as I shouted at Ming to unplug the TV, he electrocuted himself from having gin fizz on his hands and died within five seconds. Then Ricardo screamed and ran out. I chased after him, catching my foot and twisting my ankle inside the mouth of my panther-skin rug, and fell facing the television in a state of complete paralysis, forced to watch a marathon of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

Well, HAPPY F***ING BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!

I lay there for 12 hours, powerless to stop watching these parasites of humanity, these blithering retards, these insipid, vapid, asinine dipshits coo about the most BORING topics imaginable, and fantasized about how nice it would be to be waterboarded, or to find myself in a shark attack.

Mmmmm, so soothing.

READ MORE >>

Name: GRACKIE

Age: Shut up

Occupation: Between jobs

WHO ARE YOU WEARING?
A mix of designers, but mostly God.

WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR SHOES?
Dog Poop & Cabanna. Hahahahaha! Just kidding. Key Foods. They have a lot of great stuff there.

HOW WOULD YOU DEFINE YOUR
PERSONAL STYLE?
Bohemian chic meets dystopian nightmare. I have a few standard pieces that can go with anything — like my jars of urine — and then I mix them with trendier items, like cat litter. I keep it simple. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Have you seen Ringo????!?!?!!! He has my eyes! READ MORE >>